Do You Really Need A Coach?

Oct 13

“Good coaching is like a dress that fits all right. Best coaching however custom designs that perfect piece that only fits you.” 

From a pragmatic point of view you probably don’t need a coach, as it isn’t life-sustaining, but if you are looking for ways to up-level your life, getting clear on the things that matter to you, developing strength from the inside out and being your true self in all areas of your life, you might want to consider it. 

Coaching, as I understand it, is not about maneuvering clients through some off the rack system but about finding that one piece that makes the biggest difference. And that’s not possible without intuition. 

Horses taught me that it’s good to have a plan but it’s even better to be willing to drop it on the appearance of a new insight. Those insights usually come through the back door and it’s very easy to miss them, if our eyes are fixed on a rigid plan. 

I also believe that one of the most important elements of coaching is to provide a safe space. Without it nothing will happen. A safe space allows us to open up completely and go to places that we would normally stay away from. 

The magic of safe spaces

How can you tell wether you are in a safe space? You simply sense it, intuitively. You feel it, deep down inside. There is no fear of being judged. There is no need to pretend and hold back. There is a desire to be your true self, to say what you have never told anyone, to share your hopes, longings, passions… You feel that someone really sees you and that can change your life.

I remember how I felt when I was in that safe space for the very first time… Almost 30 years ago, Don was my coach and mentor. He taught me how to train horses but actually he helped me to believe in myself and to develop confidence. If it hadn’t been for him and his energy, I’m pretty sure I would not do what I’m doing today…

Don saw me…It was like he understood without me having to tell him. He deeply cared. He just knew and I knew that he knew… Does that make sense? Probably without being aware of it, he gave me that safe space and that helped me to relax, to see myself and finally to trust myself. I cannot tell you exactly what happens in those ‘sacred spaces’ but I know that without them, transformation would not be possible. 

Only when we feel safe, we can start to think about the next steps. It’s the same with the horses. Once they open up, they are receptive to our ideas and that’s when real communication takes place and that’s when things are beginning to shift. 

So, in case you are considering to hire a coach, here’s a list:

  • Listen to your intuition more than you listen to his or her words
  • If you don’t know how to decide, don’t commit. You will probably regret it later on
  • If you feel pressured, back off. The coach you need doesn’t do that
  • After talking to him or her once, you should feel relaxed and not stressed
  • If he or she makes promises to solve your problem, keep your hands off
  • an upright coach is interested in giving you clarity right from the start
  • If it feels right, you’ll know it. Trust in that.  

If you are interested in my coaching, I’d love to tell you more about it.


About the Author

In almost 30 years working with various horses and clients, Michaela developed a very effective way that helps horses and people overcome their struggle and develop new behavior patterns.

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